The Cynical Single’s Social Media Guide to Valentine’s Day

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In honour of the most romantic – or should that be the most marketed? – day of the year, Tick Yes offers this indispensible survival guide

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. If you’re part of a couple, it’s time to outwardly scoff at the idea while secretly delighting when your lover arrives with chocolates or flowers. Or getting mad when they forget it entirely.

For singles, however, the constant and gag-worthy public displays of affection and half-hearted money-grabbing attempts from stores and restaurants everywhere can be more than enough to make you want to chuck a sickie and ignore February 14 completely.

Sadly, though, Valentine’s Day is inescapable in the digital age even if you don’t leave the house. Everything from your Facebook newsfeed to your daily newspaper will be cluttered with the rose-hued syrup of people’s public pillow talk.

While you can always console yourself with the knowledge that the divorce-rate peaks in the days following Valentine’s Day, it is a good idea to have an action plan for dealing with Valentine’s social media clutter.

Facebook

You know those loved-up couples that incessantly post inappropriately emotional comments on each other’s walls? Yep, they’re going to be out in full force tomorrow.

But instead of succumbing to the urge to comment underneath such outpourings with a link to a picture of a dead pigeon or Tara Reid’s botched boob job, we recommend letting your fingers do the walking and clicking on the little ‘hide story’ icon to the right of their comment.

They can continue with their sickly statements, and you can get through the day without stabbing anything with a pencil.
Twitter

Depending on the kind of people you follow on Twitter, your Valentine’s Day experience will vary greatly. There’s no hard and fast rule, but if you follow Stephen Fry you’re probably in for a refreshingly humorous take on the whole day, while if you follow the likes of Kim Kardashian or Snooki from Jersey Shore… well, you deserve what’s coming!
Instagram

Everyone knows that a woman’s enjoyment of her Valentine’s Day roses increases exponentially with each gloat. Instagram has turbo-charged this behaviour so that with a click of a button and the application of a smoky filter, women everywhere can let you know how loved they are. Cows!

The best method here is avoidance. Give the app a rest for the day and then check back on February 15 when the world has settled back into normalcy.
Google +

Here’s where you want to be on Valentine’s Day. Apart from the odd Google employee and tumbleweed, you’ll be left in blissful peace.

A Tick Yes digital and social media blog